Have you ever considered why you operate the way you do? The way you talk, the way you maneuver, the way you look at finances, or even how you look at and what you look for in a significant other?
It wasn’t until life knocked me down and I began seeing a therapist that I learned how much of my adult life was shaped and even mimicked what I was exposed to as a child. I believe I had a great upbringing, both biological parents, three siblings—all sisters, raised with great moral attributes, we were in church almost every Sunday, most Wednesdays, and attended Vacation Bible School and even weekly Revivals when we had them.
Our parents taught us to make good choices, understand and know right from wrong, and have respect for ourselves, others, and especially our elders. During Thanksgiving, the kids sat and ate at “The Kids Table,” LOL. The point is, my life (as I knew it) was pretty great.
There were things I was exposed to and I can vividly remember thinking to myself, “When I grow up, I’m not doing this or that” or “I’m going to be a better parent in this way or that way” and my favorite, “I will never do that to my kids.” Yes, my upbringing was pretty great, but I was still a child and eventually a teenager. I didn’t always agree with the methods or even the thought processes of my parents—and if I’m being honest, mainly my mother. No shade to my mother—she’s AMAZING, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world—but there were characteristics of hers that I didn’t want to inherit. Well, little did I know, life had a surprise for me.
Once I began talking with a therapist and she began peeling back the layers of my life, turns out, I was trying so hard not to exhibit many of those characteristics that I was actually exhibiting them in a different manner. Now, I’m no psychologist so I don’t know the actual science behind this but what I do know is my childhood definitely played/plays a role in my adulthood. It’s not necessarily a negative commodity but in many ways, it was for me.
Therapy helped me to realize that I just needed to be me, JUST. BE. ME. and be a good human. There is no manuscript for this life—for those who haven’t, you have to figure out a way to be unapologetically and authentically you. The people around you with either accept you or they won’t. The quicker you can find out who won’t, the quicker you can re-evaluate and find the peace that you’ve been missing. It’s quite refreshing. 🙂 Every day is an opportunity to learn, grow, and be better but if you haven’t figured out who you are for yourself and accepted you for you, then are you genuinely learning, growing, and being better?
Perspective lies with the perception of the beholder. You don’t have to be like anyone but you. We all have someone we looked up to in the past and maybe we still have someone who inspires us and that’s great—but inspiration doesn’t mean to lose yourself.
I challenge you to assess your life story and evaluate how much of your childhood shaped your adulthood and whether that was for the better. If not, what can you do to rewrite your narrative?
Your perspective is yours—own how you feel!
Infinitely,
♥Toya
