In this life, there will be tests, trials, tribulations, heart aches, varying degrees of pain; moments that will try to break us.
What happens if we actually break?
For some, time allows the healing process to take its course and then they are able to bounce back. Others have the ability to say “Fuck It” and just keep it moving as if the calamity didn’t happen. There are those of us that may get immobilized by the situation and just freeze – unsure of what to do next. What do you do when that one moment comes, the one you never would have imagined? What if you were the one who did allow time to heal you, then life happened again and you approached it from the FUCK IT perspective and kept it moving but eventually life played the card that has you contemplating life.
What this looks like for everyone is going to be different and the situation that drives it for you may not be the same sort of situation that drives another person to that point of uncertainty. We all know that life is precious and never, ever should we make a decision, any decision from an emotional state. Every trial and tribulation we face can be used as a teachable moment if we allow it. No, that is not what we’re thinking when we’re in the thick of it but as we process the situation, we have to try to find the lesson or the message and if not for ourselves, for someone else.
Hurt is real! Acknowledge that. Our feelings are real, acknowledge that. We have to take the time we need to process it but we shouldn’t do it alone. Yes, we will need some time to ourselves to truly figure things out but we can allow those that we trust to help us through it.
We may not understand the why in that moment and truthfully depending on the situation – we may never get the why and if that is the case, we have to be able to accept that in order to move on. Everyday isn’t going to be perfect but if we find the strength and use the support around us, we will make it through.
Not everyone has the same mental fortitude and that’s ok, just know that you have options and you are not alone. Don’t allow what you see around you or what someone says to you make you think or feel like you’re less than. Whether it’s a celebrity, social media influencer or your own family, people will only show you what they want you to see. We all bleed, some are just better than others at hiding it.
It’s a fact that we have overcome 100% of the situations that cracked us and/or tried to break us. We’re here. Adversity has made a visit in one way or another and we (you and I) are on the other side of it. If you’re still going through it, I encourage you to know that there are brighter days ahead. It may not feel like it and you may not be able to see it but trust me, it is. Lean in to your faith, draw support from those around you but most importantly look within and remember who you are. In the words of the late, great Maya Angelou:
1You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
You too can still rise. No matter what challenges may come your way, you too can still rise. There is power in faith and hope, I ask you to lean into and remember that you matter and you are not defined by what happens or has happened to you.
When life hits, whether it’s the moment that cracks you or breaks you, talk to someone. They may not understand, they may not be able to relate but it’s not for them, it’s for you. They don’t have to respond, they don’t have to fix it; at that moment they just need to be there in whatever capacity they can to support you.
I share this with you from experience and being on the other side of brokenness. Brokenness can be rebuilt, oftentimes stronger and better! No it may not be easy but it can be done.
Your Feelings are Yours – Own Them!
♥Toya
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Support Services I am aware of:
This list is NOT all inclusive. City and state specific services may vary, please check your local area for information.
- Military One Source
- Website | www.militaryonesource.mil
- Contact Number | 800.342.9647
- Who | Active Duty, Air National Guard & Reserve Members and their immediate families & survivors
- Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Website | https://988lifeline.org
- Contact Number | 988 (can call and text)
- Who | Anyone in need
- Snippet from Maya Angelou’s iconic poem, Still I Rise ↩︎